The Journey Begins

As summer turned into fall, the weight of starting a brand new job and taking over as cross country coach under contentious circumstances continued to press down on me. My mental and physical health were both declining, but I still had hope that as soon as things settled down, I’d be able to rest and heal. We bought a house and moved out of our apartment, which was a huge step towards stability. However, I felt I needed to see a doctor to make sure the symptoms I was experiencing weren’t a sign of something serious. I knew the stress I’d been under over the past few months was a huge reason why I was feeling so awful, and I thought seeking the guidance and care of a doctor would get me over the hump. 

I found a primary care doctor, and after a few appointments I was referred to a gastroenterologist. At my first appointment, tests were ordered to rule out parasites and Celiac Disease. When both came back negative, it was on to the scopes. Cross country had ended at this point, and not at all to my surprise, I was in a much better place mentally and my physical symptoms had all but disappeared. Even so, in December 2017, at the age of 31, I had my first colonoscopy/endoscopy. The endoscopy results showed white blood cells present in my esophagus, which is a sign of Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EoE). I had a history of heartburn/acid reflux, especially when I was pregnant with Leo, so this wasn’t a big shock. The colonoscopy results showed inflammation in my colon, and I was told that they “can’t rule out Ulcerative Colitis,” which is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), or an autoimmune disease where the immune system causes inflammation and ulcers in the colon. This came as more of a surprise to me, because I had been feeling back to my normal self lately. But wouldn’t you know that just finding out that I MAY have an IBD sent me spiraling back down the dark road of anxiety and with it came those same GI symptoms. 

I was prescribed a colon anti-inflammatory drug called Colazal (generic name balsalazide) following my results, which I was willing to try to get some relief. Brent was against me jumping right to a medication without exploring diet and lifestyle changes first, but I was too impatient at the time. I hoped that if I could get into a state of remission, I’d be able to maintain it through stress management. It did seem to help ease my symptoms for a time (although now I believe it was more of a placebo effect), and I didn’t experience any adverse side effects. Since I was feeling better, in the spring of 2018, I was given permission from my doctor to try to get pregnant again. 

While pregnant with Eli, I felt so sick during the first trimester that I had to stop taking the Colazal. My symptoms were manageable at that point, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. After he was born at the tail end of the Polar Vortex of 2019, my GI doctor wanted me back on the medication since there’s no known cure for IBDs except symptom management through medication. I tried to communicate that all my symptoms presented themselves during this stressful period of time, because by then I had done a lot of research regarding the mind-gut connection and how long-term chronic stress can manifest itself physically in the body. Like Brent continually suggested, I was hoping that diet and lifestyle changes with mental health support could be our first line of defense to treat my "UC" at its root cause to bring lasting healing. I did NOT want to be on medication for the rest of my life, and I let my GI doctor know that. His response was that it's not unreasonable to accept that most adults are or will be on some sort of medication. This rubbed me the wrong way, but I agreed to give Colazal another shot. 

Within the first 24 hours of being back on the Colazal, I started experiencing intense gastrointestinal symptoms that were not my typical GI symptoms. I had EXTREME stomach cramping that left me in the fetal position, accompanied with frequent bouts of severe diarrhea. I reached out to my GI doctor, and he assured me that it was probably a virus versus side effects of the medication. When I took it previously I didn’t experience any side effects, but there was still a nagging thought in the back of my head that the timing of starting it back up and these new symptoms wasn’t a coincidence. I knew this medication was a band-aid; it was only treating my symptoms. It was then that God put the determination in me to get to the root cause of my condition. I wasn’t ready to accept that my condition was chronic and could only be treated with drugs with side effects. So I stopped taking the Colazal and decided it was time to get a 2nd opinion. 

I didn't realize it at the time, but the Lord was already guiding me toward healing, both through Brent's urging and support in finding the root cause, as well as my instincts that stress and anxiety were playing a significant role in my physical symptoms. However, this was only the beginning of a long journey that would include many bumps, curves, and detours along the way.

*Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to downplay or criticize the role and intentions of those in who work in conventional medicine while telling my story. I have many friends and family members who work in the medical field, and I honor and value everyone who dedicates their lives to helping heal people. This is simply how my journey unfolded, and I'm hoping it opens minds to other avenues of healing if that's where you're being led. There is absolutely a time and place for pharmaceuticals, but if you're one of the many people who suffer from any sort of chronic condition, especially an autoimmune condition, I encourage you to work with your healthcare provider to explore diet and lifestyle changes that could be just as, if not more, effective with so many fewer side effects.